


The Scars We Bare

by lupinistic



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Fear of Abandonment, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, fear of commitment, mild agoraphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-06-05 01:59:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15159941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinistic/pseuds/lupinistic
Summary: Layla's cousin Bailey writes Chibs while the guys are in prison, surprising them both. This is the story of how they become close, they deal with the violence and the insanity in both their lives.





	1. First of Many

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by the story ‘To The Letter’ by docsangel ff.net to write this story. I have always been a big fan of Chibs so that is where this little bunny comes from.

"No." A sigh elicited from the blonde haired woman across from the red haired woman who had uttered the refusal.

"Come on Bailey, I think you would really like talking to him." The red head snorted.

"Oh yes Layla. I'm sure I would enjoy writing to a guy in prison who is like TWICE MY AGE!" She didn't shout the last bit, only with spoke with force and frustration. She couldn't believe her cousin was trying to get her to write the older biker in prison when she knew how easily she fell for the bad boys. Especially those who were older than her. It just never worked out for her, so she was firmly against the idea.

"Bailey, Chibs is a sweetheart and treats women really well, and never looks down on me for being a porn star." Bailey just shrugged.

"Yeah then you should talk to  
him." Layla rolled her eyes at the childish answer, getting very annoyed with her cousin's stubbornness.

"Listen Bail, write to him or don't, I don't really care. Sorry for trying to see you happy." The red headed woman slumped in her seat at that, before giving an apologetic look to the blonde.

"I'm sorry Lay, I just have a hard time with guys you know? Or really people in general. It's taking everything in me to be here in a restaurant with you without screaming in terror over the amount of people here. I mean what if we do get along and he wants me to call? I don't..." Bailey squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath before continuing.   
"I don't do well with talking to new people. And what if he asks me to visit him? I haven't visited a prison since I was a kid and that was before I was all fucked in the head. What if he thinks I'm into older men because of Daddy issues and I'm looking for a father figure/boyfriend? You know I've always liked older men. And what if he can't handle my crazy? What if?..." Layla cut her off there, eyes wide.

"Whoa okay! You haven't even written one letter Bail. He doesn't even know your name yet, so stop psyching yourself out with what ifs okay? Just write him and see how it goes." Bailey chewed on her bottom lip before nodding her head.

"I guess I could give it a shot. How bad could it be?" Her eyes narrowed in thought. " He doesn't have an ex he is pining over does he? Because I've been down that road before and it didn't end so well for me." Layla shook her head.

“Chibs has an ex-wife and a kid but he gave up on the ex-wife because he couldn't stand the heartache anymore.” Bailey's mouth pulled into a frown. That meant the poor guys was probably separated from his kid. That fucking sucked! She shook her head to rid herself of the thoughts, looking at her cousin again.

“Alright. Give me the info and I will write him. We will see where goes from there, yeah?” Layla nodded eagerly, pulling out a pen to write the requested information on a napkin. She grinned as she held it out.

“I promise you won't regret this Bail! I think you guys will really hit it off!” Though Layla was very optimistic, Bailey wasn't so sure. But she would keep her promise and write to the biker behind bars. What did she have to lose anyway? 

-TIMEY-WIMEY-

Dear Chibs,

My name is Bailey Dvorak, and I am Layla’s cousin. I suppose the fact that we are related is obvious by the last name huh? Well whatever. Layla gave me your info because she thought you might like someone outside of prison to talk to and I am a person with a lot of time on their hands. And uh… Ah fuck, truth is I don't really write letters and don't know what all to put in them, but I suppose I should tell you a bit about myself, right?

I am 24 years old and am a blacksmith. Weird profession, I know but I love doing it. I like reading and writing, though I get writer's block a lot. I like hiking and camping. I also know how to kick box but I am not especially skilled. My favorite color is green, my favorite food is cheesy Alfredo and my favourite movie is the Crow. Anyway, that's all I can think of for now. I really hope you write me back.

Sincerely,  
Bailey 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a bit but here is the next chapter, hope you folks enjoy it!

While Bailey waited for what she hoped would be another letter, she got commissioned by Elliot Oswald to make custom wrought iron candle holders as gift for his wife’s birthday. The design itself was simple, something done by their daughter Tristan in art class. The challenge was making a dozen of them to be exactly the same. Even with using the same mold it could be difficult, but Bailey reveled in it. She loved having something to lose herself in and focus on. Without it she went to a dark place in her mind where all the uncertainty and doubt weigh down on her, especially when she is alone. Even with all the work she was happy to get the letter three days after she sent hers.

Dear Bailey,  
Of course I don’t feel obligated lass, I’m glad to have something to do and someone outside of the prison. I wasn’t joking when I said it is boring here. I have my brothers to talk to but it can get dull after a while. You’re right that I would have asked you what fanfiction was. I don’t think I have ever had a reason to know what it was. What do you use to write? What movie, book, or tv show I mean? You’ve got me curious now. 

I am sorry to hear about your parents. My parents have been dead for some time now. I have a daughter and I just lost my nephew before we went to prison. My brother, my nephew’s father died years ago, but we were close. Are you and your brother close? Also do you have any idea why your cousin wanted us to write? Not that I’m not glad but it’s been on my mind.

How minor is an obsession if you use it to make life choices such as a career? Are you working on anything interesting now? I would love to see some of your work once I am out of here. Might even commission something. As for books, I like some classics and I am also a fan of Stephen King. Never really read any comic books but I have watched superhero movies. I also enjoy action and horror movies. 

Now that I am bringing my letter to a close, I wanted to ask what you meant by using fanfiction as a coping mechanism? What are you coping with? Hope to hear from you soon lass.

Sincerely,  
Chibs

Bailey was chewing at her lip nervously at the end of the letter. She had no problem answering his questions, except the last one. How exactly do you tell someone you barely know about why you are so fucked up? Why you have anything you need to cope with… She didn’t think she could tell him yet, if ever to be honest. She hoped he wouldn’t be angry with the fact that she didn’t feel comfortable with telling him her issues just yet.

-TIMEY-WIMEY-  
Chibs found himself looking forward to Bailey’s next letter, which surprised him. He didn’t look forward to much these days, not after losing his girls. It had felt like he went down into a dark hole that he couldn’t seem to get out of, and now her letters were like a ray of light beaming into the hole. It was refreshing to be honest. When he heard his name called during mail call, he grinned and quickly opened the letter, ignoring Jax’s staring.

Dear Chibs,  
I think I will first address your final question. I don’t feel comfortable telling you about my problems just yet, if that is okay. They are really personal and I just… Can’t yet. I don’t know you well enough yet. Maybe one day I will trust you enough but not yet. I hope that doesn’t offend you or anger you but I don’t trust easily, and it is for good reason. All I’ll say is that I learned that I trusted too easily the hard way.

Now onto lighter things. I have also grown to enjoy our letters back and forth, as little as they have been. I am sorry it is so boring there though, glad I can make it a little better. The movies, books, and tv shows that we use are generally called fandoms. The fandoms I most use are Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. 

I am very sorry to hear about your nephew. My brother and I were once close but I haven’t heard from him in a couple of years. As for why Lyla wanted us to write, she said something about thinking we would hit it off. Not sure outside of that.

Okay so it isn’t a small obsession, I wanted to keep that tidbit to myself but I guess you caught me. I fucking love Lord of the Rings, I grew up on it and it got me through some tough times.

Elliot Oswald commissioned some wrought iron candle holders for his wife’s birthday. I have to make 12 of them in three weeks. The biggest issue is making them all the same, even using the same mold. Molds sadly can be corrupted by use and it’s hard to make sure they are all the same at that point. But I like the challenge, keeps me busy. As for seeing my works, I love showing off my skills so you are welcome to see them when you get out. It’s the one thing I am proud of. I’ll make anything you need or want, just tell how you want it designed.

I am also a fan of Stephen King, my favorite is The Stand. I love superhero movies as well, have watched tons of them. Anyway, hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,  
Bailey :)

Chibs sighed and looked at Jax. “I feel like I just took a step back with this one brother.” Jax looked confused.

“What do’ya mean?” Chibs sighed and laid back on the bed before replying.

“Bailey's last letter mentioned using writing fanfiction as a coping mechanism, and I asked what she used it to cope with. She said she doesn't trust me enough yet to tell me that it was very personal, which I can understand. But unlike 'er last letter, she didn't ask me any questions. I think she is afraid I will get angry fer ‘er not answering my question and so she kept any other questions to 'erself. I think something really bad happened to 'er in the past that really messed with her head.” During this little speech Jax looked thoughtful.

“Maybe something bad happened to her. Way I see it, you should just take it a day at a time and hopefully she will feel comfortable enough to tell you about the reasons she needs coping mechanisms. Can’t really blame for not wanting to tell someone she has only written like three letters to. As for feeling like you took a step back, just work to take those steps forward again.” Chibs was staring at him now.

“The ‘ell did you come up with all that?” Jax sighed and looked at the ceiling.

“Fuck man, I’ve been had nothing but time to think deep ass thoughts while in here. Glad they may do some good.” Chibs gave him a half smile before grabbing paper and a pencil to write yet another letter to Bailey. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but he really wanted to get back on track with her. He was really liking having her as at least somewhat friend, he didn’t want to damage that.

-TIMEY-WIMEY-   
Bailey had been a nervous wreck all week, wondering if she had pissed Chibs off. It had her awake at night, pacing back and forth, trying to relax while listening to music. God she hated having so much anxiety over this, it was stupid! He probably wouldn’t be mad, it wasn’t unreasonable, her inability to tell him about what had happened to her. About how her mind worked… She was finally able to stop agonizing over what his response about five days after she had sent her letter to him. She was quick to rip open the envelope to read the letter.

Dear Bailey,  
Of course I’m not angry, and I have no right to be offended. I understand that you barely know me, and that you don’t trust me yet. I hope to change that of course, but don’t worry about making me angry at you for something like that lass. Hell, you want to tell me to shove it, feel free. I don’t take you as the type to do so unless you have a good reason, but I didn’t want you to think I would just go off the handle at you.

Also onto lighter things. Fandoms you say? Learn something new everyday. I don’t have much else to say on that subject I am afraid, so onto some questions. Where are you from? Did you grow up out this way or somewhere else? I myself was born in Glasgow, Scotland but grew up in Belfast, Ireland. I moved here about 10 years ago I think. Not too sure to be honest. Anyway, I need to go for now, I hope to hear from you soon.  
Sincerely,  
Chibs

Bailey breathed out a sigh of relief. He wasn’t angry. She then scowled at herself. Of course he wasn’t, she was just a big ball of anxiety and terror that jumped to the worst possible conclusion. She huffed and went to get some paper, pushing her annoyance for herself aside in favor of writing another letter to Chibs.


End file.
